Thanks to smartphones and vodka, it only takes one second to call your ex and tell him what you think of his new girlfriend. Thankfully, it’s not just the phones that are getting smarter. These save-you-from-yourself drinking apps might keep you from ever again having to wake up to the memory of typing the words, “You make me feel all funny and I like it.”
There are two basic types of alco-apps: the Blockers and the Babysitters. Blockers prevent you from being able to contact specific people without first completing a sobriety test. Babysitters are more informational. They let you record how much you drink on any given night and use that information to estimate your blood alcohol content, or BAC, and keep track of your drinking habits.
My friend Cathy and I took to the bars of Asbury Park, N.J., to test these apps. We each ordered a beer, which I hurried to document on Drink Buddy, a sophisticated iPhone babysitter with enticing images of cocktails and an intuitive interface — a must for people who are on their way to losing control of their motor functions. After one 16-ounce Yuengling, the app informed me that I was getting talkative, relaxed and less coordinated, which was pretty much correct. When I plugged that same beer into Alcodroid, a similar recording app for Android, it gave a much lower BAC reading. This discrepancy is worrisome if you’re using an app to judge your ability to drive. By the way, you should never use an app to judge your ability to drive.
All in all, drink-recording apps are like those food diaries that Oprah is always trying to get us to keep: a fairly straightforward exercise that I’m never going to actually do, especially if I’m drunk. Especially if I’m drunk and trying to call my ex — which brings us to the Blocker apps, since the most common drunk-dial targets are your ex and the person whom you’d like to someday be your ex. After getting Cathy’s adult opinion on how people feel about being drunk-dialed — “They’re grossed out because you have no self-control.” — I was motivated to start blocking actual calls with iPhone’s aptly named Bad Decision Blocker.
I considered blocking my ex, but what if I wanted to text him later? Instead, I blocked someone who had been entered into my phone as “Holidave.” His name disappeared from my contact list, call log, text messages and email. This app dispenses with sissy sobriety tests in favor of a tough-love approach: There is absolutely no way to reinstate the contact before the time limit is up. Which is why my inebriated self sort of preferred Android’s Drunk Blocker. If I immediately regretted blocking Holidave, whoever he was, all I needed to do to hear his sweet voice again was solve a word scramble of the letters for “toothpaste” — a task that proved difficult, but not impossible.
It was then that I realized how I could beat all these apps at their own game. Since none of them can block numbers that are entered manually, I could write down the numbers, bring them to the bar, block them, and still be able to call both my ex and Holidave, no problem. Now, I really was drunk — on power. I had beaten the house, and the house was me.
While their divergent BAC readings made the babysitting apps fairly useless, I did like the blocking ones. Android’s Drunk Blocker was easy to use, and the tests were hard enough to actually keep you out. Bad Decision Blocker allowed me to prevent myself from calling, texting and emailing certain contacts, which is a level of protection that I need.
Of course, this is all prefaced on the assumption you actually want to stop drunk-dialing, and that you’re willing to admit, when sober, whom you’re most likely to want to contact after a couple of beers.
Apps featured in this article
Download the "DrinkBuddy" app
Download "The Bad Decision Blocker" app
Learn more about the "DrunkBlocker" app
Learn more about the "Alcodroid" app
There are two basic types of alco-apps: the Blockers and the Babysitters. Blockers prevent you from being able to contact specific people without first completing a sobriety test. Babysitters are more informational. They let you record how much you drink on any given night and use that information to estimate your blood alcohol content, or BAC, and keep track of your drinking habits.
My friend Cathy and I took to the bars of Asbury Park, N.J., to test these apps. We each ordered a beer, which I hurried to document on Drink Buddy, a sophisticated iPhone babysitter with enticing images of cocktails and an intuitive interface — a must for people who are on their way to losing control of their motor functions. After one 16-ounce Yuengling, the app informed me that I was getting talkative, relaxed and less coordinated, which was pretty much correct. When I plugged that same beer into Alcodroid, a similar recording app for Android, it gave a much lower BAC reading. This discrepancy is worrisome if you’re using an app to judge your ability to drive. By the way, you should never use an app to judge your ability to drive.
All in all, drink-recording apps are like those food diaries that Oprah is always trying to get us to keep: a fairly straightforward exercise that I’m never going to actually do, especially if I’m drunk. Especially if I’m drunk and trying to call my ex — which brings us to the Blocker apps, since the most common drunk-dial targets are your ex and the person whom you’d like to someday be your ex. After getting Cathy’s adult opinion on how people feel about being drunk-dialed — “They’re grossed out because you have no self-control.” — I was motivated to start blocking actual calls with iPhone’s aptly named Bad Decision Blocker.
I considered blocking my ex, but what if I wanted to text him later? Instead, I blocked someone who had been entered into my phone as “Holidave.” His name disappeared from my contact list, call log, text messages and email. This app dispenses with sissy sobriety tests in favor of a tough-love approach: There is absolutely no way to reinstate the contact before the time limit is up. Which is why my inebriated self sort of preferred Android’s Drunk Blocker. If I immediately regretted blocking Holidave, whoever he was, all I needed to do to hear his sweet voice again was solve a word scramble of the letters for “toothpaste” — a task that proved difficult, but not impossible.
It was then that I realized how I could beat all these apps at their own game. Since none of them can block numbers that are entered manually, I could write down the numbers, bring them to the bar, block them, and still be able to call both my ex and Holidave, no problem. Now, I really was drunk — on power. I had beaten the house, and the house was me.
While their divergent BAC readings made the babysitting apps fairly useless, I did like the blocking ones. Android’s Drunk Blocker was easy to use, and the tests were hard enough to actually keep you out. Bad Decision Blocker allowed me to prevent myself from calling, texting and emailing certain contacts, which is a level of protection that I need.
Of course, this is all prefaced on the assumption you actually want to stop drunk-dialing, and that you’re willing to admit, when sober, whom you’re most likely to want to contact after a couple of beers.
Apps featured in this article
Download the "DrinkBuddy" app
Download "The Bad Decision Blocker" app
Learn more about the "DrunkBlocker" app
Learn more about the "Alcodroid" app
