Fabio’s bulging pecs aren’t just ripping through his shirt; they’re tearing up relationships.
That’s the grim warning from Susan Quilliam, a British sex expert whose essay on the delitirious impact of romance novels has been published in this month’s issue of the Journal of Family Planning and Reproductive Health Care.
“A woman will tell me that she loves her partner dearly,” Quilliam told The Daily. “But she’s wondering if she should run off with the handsome co-worker who makes her heart flutter.”
Romance novels, which according to recent industry statistics comprise 55 percent of paperback book purchases, are an indulgence for millions of readers. But they can cause a couple’s crisis, Quilliam said, when avid readers develop unrealistic expectations — passionate lovemaking, multiple orgasms and hard-bodied suitors among them — based on the fanciful, picturesque partnerships portrayed in the books.
Quilliam surveyed several research projects, along with anecdotal evidence from relationship counselors and sex experts, to reach her conclusions about the hot-and-heavy tomes.
“Couples end up in family planning clinics because ‘condoms aren't romantic,’ or in counseling because ‘the sex isn’t perfect,’” she said. “These books can cause real trouble.”
Avid romance readers, however, don’t buy Quilliam’s claims.
“My husband isn’t somebody you’d call an alpha hero. Let’s just say he’s very in touch with his emotions,” Nicola Onychuk, whose blog, Alpha Heroes, covers the romance genre. “But we’re very happy. I can distinguish between fiction and reality.”
Still, some relationship counselors say they’ve worked with couples suffering from romance novel melancholy.
“Sex and romance is the most pervasive issue for couples I treat,” Irina Firstein, a relationship counselor in Manhattan, said. “People see these romantic characters whose sex lives are wonderful and perfect and who know exactly what to do to each other. They think something in their relationship is terribly wrong.”
Unfortunately for real-world pairs, romance isn’t so simple, especially in a long-term relationship. Firstein suggests that couples troubled by a reality gap reminisce about a relationship’s early days and “the interest and the curiosity you had in your partner.”
Fortunately for Fabio-loving ladies, the news isn’t all bad: For some readers, sensual page-turners seem to inspire a spicier intimate routine.
A 2009 survey by Widener University in Pennsylvania found that 75 percent of regular readers credited romance novels with sexier, more experimental bedroom romps.
“Fantasy can be a wonderful addition to a romantic relationship,” Quilliam said. “I want people to base their relationships in reality but inject some whimsy. Both are important.”